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All Within by ~justkristy:iconjustkristy:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Old Poetry Structure > Dark




11-14-03
12:16pm

All Within

Can you find the truth behind my lies?
Can you see the pain inside my eyes?
This must be the end
The last time i broke- i lost my head
It almost KILLED me-
     Searching for a REASON among
          The tangled threads of sin
               Can't get out of
                    The nothing within...
Senseless actions- out of control
A roaming, aching- lonely soul
This must be the end
The last time i broke- i lost my sight
It almost KILLED me-
     Searching for a ray of light among
         The spider webs consuming
              Can't get out- we're
                    All trapped within...
Can you hear the words i hate to say?
Did you know it still hurts- to this day?
This must be the end
The last time i broke- i lost my mind
It almost KILLED me-
     Searching for a piece that feels among
         The tattered shreds of my heart
                Can't get out- we're
                      All torn within...
©2003-2009 ~justkristy
:iconjustkristy:

Author's Comments

Eh...

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconbloodiedmemories:
~bloodiedmemories Nov 17, 2003, 4:55:43 PM
you seem to be posting a lot of stuff latley, and i must say im liking all of it. keep up the good work!

--
HUNGER ARTIST- SUMMER 2005
:iconjustkristy:
~justkristy Nov 17, 2003, 5:02:42 PM
:D

--
TheOneAndOnly
:skullbones:*kristy*

Three Ppl Worth Checking Out:
Ruben- [link]
Richard- [link]
Aaron- [link]
:iconsadnessincarnate:
~SaDnessIncarnate Nov 17, 2003, 5:10:20 PM
Oh me likes Kristy... lets start a band. Yup yup :kiss: we can call it whatever you want. hehe and we'll find ppl to be in it and we can write songs together. *sigh* just a thought. :D
:iconfirelily:
~FireLily Nov 17, 2003, 6:29:52 PM
i want to join!! i love Kristy's stuff!.... and i can sing too! and i've got a couple of songs i've written too..... ^_^

--
"The Knowledge! It FILLS me!! It is NEAT!!!"
~Gir~ from Invader Zim

"Of all the things I've lost, i miss my mind the most." :dygel:

"stuff is kewl" ~me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Yes, I am crazy."

Peace, Love, and Yahweh!! "^_^"
:iconundefinability:
!undefinability Nov 17, 2003, 6:50:22 PM
"Can you find the truth behind my lies?
Can you see the pain inside my eyes?"
- I think "behind" and "inside" should be switched. It would sound better with " truth inside my lies", and "pain behind my eyes", in my opinion. It would be more sensible, at least.

I loved the piece. A lyrical masterpiece.

--
no.
:iconjustkristy:
~justkristy Nov 18, 2003, 9:23:42 AM
:) Thank you.

--
TheOneAndOnly
:skullbones:*kristy*

Three Ppl Worth Checking Out:
Ruben- [link]
Richard- [link]
Aaron- [link]
:iconsadnessincarnate:
~SaDnessIncarnate Nov 18, 2003, 8:37:12 PM
That would be cool...*sigh* yet kristy doesn't want to start a band. I must convince her... I'll make sad faces at her until she gives in... :D
:iconfirelily:
~FireLily Nov 19, 2003, 4:29:46 AM
lol... guilt will get you anything.......... and chocolate will get you everything.... ^_^ *hint* *hint* ;)

--
"The Knowledge! It FILLS me!! It is NEAT!!!"
~Gir~ from Invader Zim

"Of all the things I've lost, i miss my mind the most." :dygel:

"stuff is kewl" ~me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Yes, I am crazy."

Peace, Love, and Yahweh!! "^_^"
:iconseekingtruth:
~seekingtruth Nov 22, 2003, 8:42:52 PM
Definitely sounds like a song. :nod::thumbsup:

--
"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth." -Disraeli
--
Thanks is nice, but a comment is better!
--
:mwahaha:p|-|3412!!!:mwahaha:
--
:crazy::eyepopping:Keep smiling!:stab::slow:
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